Friday, January 18, 2008

118

Once upon a time there was a girl who didn’t like herself very much. Oh, she had friends and she made good grades and she never got in trouble and she was happy as far as anyone could tell. But at night, when she was alone, she felt very plain and boring and unimportant, and she doubted it would matter for very long if she disappeared forever. Yes, people would notice she was gone, and they would miss her for a little while, but not for long. There wasn’t much to miss.

That girl was me. She’s not me now, but that was me many years ago. Now, don't get me wrong, I was a loved child. I have a wonderful family and I never doubted that they loved me or that my friends cared about me. And I wasn't suicidal or anything! I just had, for whatever reason, incredibly low self-esteem. Maybe it was the really, really big glasses I used to wear! Ha ha! It probably had a lot to do with my age. The teen and early twenties years are well-known for their high levels of drama. Anyway, what happened to change my life? That’s easy, God sent Jim.

I first met Jim through my friend Michelle, at her wedding actually. She married Jim’s friend Judah, and we were both in the wedding. It was a casual meeting, nothing special. But then a few months later, Michelle and Judah invited me and some of their other friends to go skiing. Jim was one of those friends.

We got to know each other a little better on that trip. We learned to ski together, neither of us ever having done it before. We kidded around, we talked, but it was nothing special. Until all of a sudden it was.

Our last night, we all went out to dinner together. As we were leaving the restaurant, Jim held the door as we all trailed out. I thanked him as I passed. As we were making our way cautiously across the frozen parking lot and back to our condo, he came up behind me, placed his hand on the small of my back and whispered in my ear, “Thanks for saying thank you. You’re the only one that did.” And then he was gone, off to catch up to the guys ahead of us.

It wasn’t a particularly profound moment. It wasn’t anything that anyone else would have noticed and smiled to themselves about or teased me about later. But it was a life-altering moment for me because in that instant, with that touch, suddenly I noticed Jim and I felt like I could be someone he might notice too, and I suddenly really wanted him to notice me!

As it turned out, he had already noticed me. Perhaps you saw that coming. I didn’t. I was too busy feeling destined for spinsterhood to notice his attempts to gain my notice all week long! Nevertheless, his persistence won out in the end.

So what does this story have to do with anything? Why share it with you today instead of more pictures of our beautiful children? Well, today is a special day. Ten years ago today, not long after the trip I mentioned above, Jim kissed me for the first time. It was a big deal for me because there weren’t a whole lot of kisses in my pre-Jim days.

And now, thanks to Jim’s love and support and encouragement, I no longer see myself the way I did back then. I feel beautiful and smart and interesting, like someone people will enjoy being around. I still battle my shyness around new people, but we’re working on it! Jim is such an inspiration to me, the way he draws people to him. He has been the greatest blessing God has ever given me. He makes me feel like I can do anything I set my mind to, and since we’ve been together, I have! It’s amazing how God can see exactly what you need, when you have no idea! He knew that Jim was what I needed in my life, and He brought us together. And I thank Him for it every day!

I love you, Jim! Here's to our next ten years together!

4 comments:

Becky said...

I've always thought you are important and interesting. I'm glad you think that now too.

Anonymous said...

uhhhhhhhhhhh....wow...WOW!!

-jim-

Andria said...

I saw a lot of me in your post! You have been "touched" by someone special!

And the guys wonder why we remember silly dates like that "10 years ago" date. Is was special to us!

Anonymous said...

This story means a lot to me. I sometimes feel they way you did back then, and it's nice to hear the happy ending story. Stories like this help keep me positive about finding my true love.

I've been reading your blog for the past few months, and I think it's great.


Here's to many more years of happiness!